Moving Violations

I am trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to try to get any more boxes moved over from the house next door. It means herding the kids back and forth, and the ornery one is in a particular awful mood this morning. On the other hand, I am out of paper towels and my washer is out of commission so cloth ones are in short supply. I think I have a tool to help the one in a bad mood, but it is next door, and again, getting over and back is going to be a fight. I guess I'll have to try. It is so hard to plan right between houses. Situations like this have drained my energy and brain power. I am about to say something I may take back later. I think that either moving or watching kids when you're not quite unpacked is enough to try to do, but both at once is impossible. Yesterday I was driving the kids to Costco to get some little thing; really it was just an excuse to stay in the car for an extra hour. I noticed a police motorcycle ahead, checked my speed and the posted limit, and wasn't that surprised when I got pulled over. The guy was super nice, I must say. Later in the day I was taking a little reading break, and then stood up and hit my head on a light fixture hanging in the middle of the room. I'm just not used to it yet. So I got a goose egg. I think both of these things happened because I am so scattered from moving.

Outside the box

We are relocating, for the second time in less than six months. It was wise to rent first and then buy, but it does mean that we have an extra move. Fortunately, this one isn't far away. Tonight as I was packing up a box of my kids' blocks I realized part of the reason why moving is so hard for me - I want to figure out what I think is the best way to do everything first, and then do it. Trouble is, by the time I figure out the absolute best way of doing it, I could have done it sufficiently three times over. Now I know what my perfectionist, idealistic friends are thinking. That anything less than the best is not worth doing. But for me, it is to the point of paralysis sometimes. As I was packing up this box of blocks, which are irregularly shaped, I was rearranging them as I went, to find the best possible fit. I have tried arranging these blocks before; there is no perfect way to do it. No matter what, the lid just won't quite fit. And since I was just going to carry them by hand from my current house to our new house, it didn't have to be perfect. I really wish it could be. I want every little thing to be just divine - in both the spiritual and aesthetic sense (which makes me wonder if maybe those expressions are different perspectives on the same impulse). But sometimes, I think, I miss the forest for the trees. The main goal is really to get the blocks portable from here to there. Anyway, I had this tiny epiphany and shared it with my husband to try to show him I was growing in some way. He just nodded, and said, "Yeah." So obvious to him, I guess. He's more of a Git 'er Done guy, which is what I knew I needed.

Type A suppression

I think it is sometimes more pleasurable to plan for the future than deal with the present. I need to pack and move, but am thinking about my son's birthday party which is coming up in a month. It seems more fun to do that. Then I'll get to that other stuff. I'll feel energized, I think. The good thing is my daughter is learning lessons about this, too. She's learning that if she does what she needs to do in the present, things are better in the future. I don't think she really understands the future beyond a few hours or a night's sleep. I have wondered lately if I am a repressed Type A. In college I thought I was pretty intense and choleric. Somehow I mellowed out later. Being in a place where there seems like a lot of work to be done brings out the perfectionist in me. I have started a cupcake business that's been going for a few months. I think I enjoy making cupcakes because perfection is possible. It gives me something I can do where, at the end of a baking session, I have a batch of pretty things that make me, and someone else, happy.

Of Waffles and Women

Good morning! I didn't know what to make for breakfast this morning. My daughter woke up an hour early, so I had to figure something out. I hate that feeling. I've been kind of grumpy this morning, but not just because of that. I have to have the house all clean for a showing this afternoon, which is practically impossible with kids in it. Also several things got dropped on my foot, which always brings out the worst in me. I ended up making waffles, which were a hit except that my son threw a big fit over washing his hands, and then was throwing his food around. Maybe grumpiness is contagious. I decided to get some childcare for today so I can get some extra work done and keep the house tidy. I think the kids will have more fun away from grumpy mama anyway. Here is a thought I had: wouldn't it be great if churches offered a "planning period" for moms, in which childcare was provided, but nothing was expected of moms except to sit down and be thoughtful about the activities of the week ahead?