Thursday, October 20, 2005

Never Been Unloved

I work in an environment where it seems intellect is everything. Both pride and discouragement come very easily and sometimes in sudden turns, challenging my faith and testing my character. This summer I participated in a study on the life of John, the beloved disciple (Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore), knowing even without doing the study that I'd need to be convinced of God's love for me if I was going to complete the task to which God appointed me. The words "forsaking ambition for affection" really resonated with me. I know ambition has motivated me but it's a fuel that runs out when I get discouraged. Love is a more powerful motivation because it doesn't give up easily. The love of God is, I think, a river in which I occasionally wet my feet. Well, earlier this week I felt like the Lord invited me for a swim, and He reminded me of these words from the Michael W. Smith song "Never Been Unloved."

I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful
I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
And I have been undesirable
And sometimes I have been unwise
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of
But because of you
And all that you went through
I know that I have never been unloved.

I must admit I've been all of these things - some of them at the the same time and some of them recently. To know that God loves me keeps me going even when I feel utterly unworthy by any standard. It is that knowledge that reminds me that my God is different - there is none like Him.

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