My son is not quite sleeping through the night yet. I am weary. In the morning I have to decide whether I will have a quiet time, including prayer and Bible study, or go back to sleep. I've found that half an hour of prayer and Bible study is worth much more than half an hour of sleep.
The past two mornings he has slept a six-hour stretch, and woken up completely ready to go, so my day has begun at 5. The Lord knew what I needed, though, because I got a good nap both days after I had my quiet time. I was so thankful.
I heard the song "Hide Away" this morning, which has the title lyrics of the Sovereign Grace album Come Weary Saints. I certainly can relate to being a weary saint, in every sense the song talks about.
Verse 1 is about actually being worn out and needing the Lord's refreshing. Never in my life before having two kids under two have I so needed, and found, the Lord's strength renewing me, keeping me going, even joyful. I seek His rest often, too. I've got to know my life has a purpose and that I'm fulfilling it. I have felt so ashamed of my own sin that I felt I couldn't keep walking the Christian walk. He has straightened me up. I have felt there was no happiness left for me, and He has brought the joy back.
Something I'm going to ponder is whether or not our culture allows people to really be weary anymore. Maybe it lets you be weary, but never hide away. I know sometimes it is up to me to say, no, I just can't do one more thing. I believe the time will come soon when I'll have to start being very careful so that I really don't overdo it and get really exhausted, or crowd quiet time with Jesus out of my life. This song helps remind me, when I tap into my true weariness, where I need to go.
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