Hold Me, Jesus

Tonight our associate pastor preached a very profound, but at the same time, practical, message, based on John 10:10. Profound in the sense of what the enemy it out to do, practical in the sense of what I can do. Pray. Read the Bible. Be intentional. I was thinking of my daughter the whole time. I have grave concerns about her happiness and spiritual influences. I felt so burdened by life, and kept thinking of this song by Rich Mullins. (Not sure what's going on with the video, but there it is.) I have been surprised lately by how much ordinary life counts in God's scheme of things. I kept thinking that what the pastor was speaking of referred to the events of my life: raising kids, being involved in ministry, dealing with hurts I've received and inflicted. It keeps surprising me, to find that faith is required for ordinary life.

An open heart

Today's prayer: "Dear Lord, help me to open my heart and savor all of your goodness this season." I am feeling the crunch, especially right now, of all the things I need to do, and on top of that, my own touchiness and stinginess. I don't want that. I don't want to be constricted by bitterness or business. Lord, help! Things I think I need to do: laundry, clean house, go to crafts store for stuff for daughter's birthday, play with kids, make photo calendars, decorate for Christmas. Oh, take shower. Change diapers and help preschooler use the toilet. Also would like to do something amazing as a mom. Also need to contact someone about running sound for an event next week, and then also invite a friend to said event. I may minimize the party. Daughter will not mind. Need to figure some things out. Help, Lord. I know you are good. Amen.

ChristMonth

Christmas can't be very far away. Just a month. I know it is Black Friday but I am not out there yet. I have to make it to Target this afternoon, but just for the pharmacy. So, maybe I'll get in on the excitement. It would just be for fun; we're not after any big ticket items. Well, as for our Thanksgiving day, we realized yesterday that we had some other friends that were alone. Why hadn't we thought of these people? We don't see them all the time, I guess that's why. By the time we realized it, it was too late to make plans. The connection was made possible in a very strange way. We were watching the news, and there was a fatal shooting down the street from their rental property. I contacted them to find out if they were in town or aware. They were, and alone for Thanksgiving. So, we get to see them tomorrow. I have no idea what the rest of the story was with the shooting. It's in a nice enough neighborhood; a place I'd definitely live. I almost don't want to think about it too much. I have a VERY busy week ahead. Here's the delicious cake I made. It's a bundt!

Without money and without cost

My house smells like teriyaki chicken, chocolate chip cookies, yeast rolls, and rice. I mean, if you've ever been susceptible to the warm fuzzies, I think this would do it for you. We are preparing a Thanksgiving feast (the terikyaki is for tonight - Thanksgiving Eve). We will have turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing, cranberry sauce (good stuff), yeast rolls, and cake. It will be more than enough. Today we happened to be driving on the highway, and at our exit waited a man with a long white beard and a cardboard sign. He stared at us, peered at us, the second car in line at the stoplight, which seemed forever. "It's Santa Claus!" said Kyrstin. I had had the same thought. Sweet girl. I tried to explain he was not Santa Claus, but a hungry man who wanted a job to do. "No, he's Santa Claus," she protested. Then, from somewhere, came the exclamation, "Get out of our way, Santa Claus!" I think she thought that we were sitting so long at that light because he wouldn't move. Fixing our feast today, I remembered the verses from Isaiah, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost." I began thinking that I wished I knew someone who needed a meal to share, who could come over and be with us. I don't think I do. I don't know that man or where to find him. I'm sure there's someone I could invite, I just don't know how to make the announcement. Maybe on Facebook? Shout out KJV style, "Ho, all you who are thirsty!" At the same time, I don't want a hoarde showing up. I can't feed them all. I could have like four people over to share a meal with us. Not sure how I could find them without still feeling like I'm excluding people. In high school, my dad's church always did a community Thanksgiving meal. People came to the waters, and ate without money and without cost. It felt right. It's a meal that needs to be shared, as it was originally, to thank God for what He has provided. So, we're making a feast, and the invitation is open, should anyone read this. We love to cook and share.

His state is kingly

Woke up early with Stefan this morning, and read a little bit of Milton. Poem about waiting on God. It reminded me of how I feel sometimes limited because of the talent I have but cannot use because I must take care of kids. I have read the poem many times before but never thought of it that way. Resonating in my mind as I went back to sleep were the words, "wait," and "write." Of course Milton didn't quit writing when he went blind. He used his daughters as his amaneunses. Hmm... Here's the poem. When I consider how my light is spent, Ere half my days in this dark world and wide, And that one talent which is death to hide Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent To serve therewith my Maker, and present My true account, lest He returning chide; "Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?" I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need Either man's work or His own gifts. Who best Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed, And post o'er land and ocean without rest; They also serve who only stand and wait." Reading Milton changed my life; made me think of higher things, almost made me quit school (long story). Every time I encounter him it makes me pause, think, and want to strive to be a better writer.

Happiness is... this picture

 

Happiness is...

I think I'll start a "happiness" is category, where I just post some of my favorite things. Yesterday I was cruising the Internet looking for the perfect dessert to make for Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed it at first, but after about thirty minutes, I felt a bit queasy. I have an aversion to words like "moist" and "morsel," and a lot of the food pictures were the equivalent. I think I'm going to make a recipe my cousin sent me. No pictures; just a recipe that sounded good. She described it as "all fall," "not elegant," and something the kids would like. That's kind of neither here nor there - my point here is that I ended up making a crock pot bread in the afternoon with some pumpkin puree my husband made. Happiness is making bread in a crockpot, having it for dessert with family at dinner and then having it for bressert next morning.

No Good Thing

I will open my hands, will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic "yes" to all that You have for me

. - Sara Groves, "Open My Hands," from the 2011 album, Invisible Empires

I was reading on PW's blog today that if you're going to blog, you should do is as often as possible, as much as possible, even if it's just a paragraph.

Thanksgiving is on Thursday, and prompts me to write a possibly very short post, just to say that I feel I have so much to be thankful for.

Sometimes I get scared that it won't all work out. I fret over details and schedules a lot. Even when things go well, I'm afraid they'll go too well and I won't be able to keep up/meet expectations.

This song reminded me the other day that those times that a lot seems to be going on, it may that God is just trying to bless. Perhaps when I open my hands to receive it, I let go of a bunch of other cares that don't matter.