This Day Takes the Cake

Some days take faith.

Scratch that.  Every day takes faith.  Some days I just don't have it.

You see, I started off well.  Got a Word from the Lord this morning.  Had coffee.  Got everything ready for the kids.

Then it all caught up with me.  I'm not entirely sure what happened.  I think it had something to do with the lack of sleep and the excess of caffeine I'd ingested.  The word from the Lord was real; the spirit was willing, the flesh was weak.

Sometimes my faith is also weak.  It was one of those days.  A freak-out day.  One where I'm not entirely sure to what degree the thing on which I'm fixated is of my own invention.  One thing is for sure: I stressed my daughter out by getting so stressed out myself.  Another thing: I felt a lot better after a nap.

After said nap, I knew I needed to make a cake.  Just knew.  Also, knew I needed to watch a movie.  So I got one from RedBox - my anniversary freebie! - had my cake, and am now going to just chizill.  

Someday, it will all be funny... I hope?

Chocolate is no substitute for (temporary interruption here as I confiscated something from my son who is supposed to be sleeping) spiritual victory, but it is a real consolation for sore nerves.  Notice I am not really referring to the cake, which is just a shelf for the real goodness to shine from (basic Hershey's frosting recipe - check it out here).

Two thoughts help me put a lid on this day.  One, a little bread cast on the waters this morning: 2 Samuel 22:20b, "He resuced me because he delighted in me" (NIV).  That is the unmerited favor of God.  I told my husband this morning I was encouraged that it didn't say, "He rescued me because I am awesome." 

Second thought is a song (at last!): "Shifting Sand" by Caedmon's Call.  Been running through my head as I made my cake.

My faith is like shifting sand

Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand

So I stand on grace

I'm intrigued and confused by the sepia-toned, Chinese boarding-school images.  Or maybe the Philippines - that seems more likely.  You know, I've seen so much, I explain it away.  The song stands on its own.

With a sigh of relief I shall now sink into the couch to watch my movie.  Every day takes faith.  This one took  the cake.  

Stuff I tried today

Okay, I hope I seem excited about this, because I am.  I have actually been looking around for things to wash and dry, because I wanted to try my homemade laundry soap and homemade fabric softener in combination.  I just made the softener today.  I used a $.90 bottle of V05 conditioner - kiwi scent - plus three cups vinegar and six cups water, a la this recipe, and, voila!  Super cheap fabric softener (11 cups is 2/3 gallon).  I will have to give some to my laundry expert friend to see if she is pleased with it, but it is working for li'l ol' me right now. Plus, she gave me a thumbs up on the homemade detergent, which was made using this recipe.

Alright, now for the créme de la créme - pun perfectly placed - I made coffee creamer today, riffing on this recipe.  I really should take a picture.  Imagine two pint-sized jars of coffee creamer, one slightly tanner than the other.  That one is mocha mint.  The lighter is plain.  I have been without creamer for a few days and was going to make the powdered kind - which is what I usually buy - using this recipe, but wasn't sure I could find or afford coconut oil at this juncture.  Mmm, mmm.  The creamer is my sweetest success yet.

I just remembered that I also tried a really simple dessert recipe today; s'more pops, a riff on this recipe.  I bought a six-pack of Hershey bars for $1 @ Wal-Mart today.  Surprisingly, just one or two is enough for a dessert.  I didn't toast mine first, btw.  However you do it, it is a really cheap and simple, sweet, and fun treat to make for kids.  All you need is a few marshmallows, a chocolate bar, and a graham cracker.  You don't even need the lolly sticks.

Next on my list is popsicles and cutting my daughter's hair.  

For the sake of not leaving my post pic-less, I'm attaching a pic of some food I made yesterday*.  I flexed my menu a bit and used half a box of leftover ziti, some cottage and mozzarella cheeses, half a package of leftover thawed frozen spinach, an egg, and some pasta sauce, and made Ziti Florentine.  It was actually quite good!  I had leftovers of my leftovers for lunch today - a grown-up mac 'n' cheese.

* Food pics are risky.  I can doctor them up and everything looks divine.  This one I didn't, and I just hope it doesn't look gross.

Sweet Hearts

Happy Valentine's Day!  It has been a very chocolatey day around here.  We started with chocolate-chip heart-shaped pancakes.

This was a successful pancake experiment.  I used the standard BHG cookbook recipe.  Sometimes it does work (see prior post about experimenting with pancakes for backstory).

At dinner we had brownies, and my husband gave me a big box of chocolate.  Unexpected!  Notice there is already one missing.

Tonight our family had a candlelight dinner.  We gave the kids little presents and let me know how much we loved them.  I got this idea from Sarah, the Character Mom.  Check out her blog at http://thecharactermom.blogspot.com/ .  She has a monthly newsletter full of ideas on how to teach one character trait per month; it's been a great resource for us these past few weeks.  The Funky Sheep of a prior post were an idea that came directly from her.

Here is my little sweetheart and me tonight. We got a little dressed up for our "family party."  This just became one of my favorite pictures.

So, it has been a sweet Valentine's Day, full of sweets.  There is another kind of sweet heart I've been thinking of, and that is the kind that is pure of bitterness.

I had the privilege of hearing a speaker this week who discussed finding grace for the seasons of life.  During one of her sessions, she spoke about bitterness, and about how to run to God once you've been running away.  So much of what she said helped me understand passages of my life.  Two things that stood out were that sometimes going numb is the response of bitterness, and that sometimes you can run away from God without anyone knowing because you are such a well-trained Christian; I believe "housebroken" was the word she used.  I don't want to go back to being bitter.  I want the Lord to sweeten my heart so I can continue to walk in grace.

Since the retreat, I've been thinking of this Natalie Grant song, which is in the repertoire of one of my voice students.  As such, I have thought about every word.

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned sovereignty
And had my share of doubt

Check. :)

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams
And though it seemed 
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on.

Praise the Lord, yes.  Check.

And the chaos in my life has been a badge I've worn
And though I have been torn
I will not be moved.

Those last three lines - the bridge - have made me think a lot.  Chaos can bring bitterness.  It did me.  I'm not sure why that is.  In any case, I feel like the thing to do now is move forward.  I look back and see how even in the bitterest of my bitterness, He was there, sweetening, drawing me to Him.  I just love Him for that.  I may stumble, I may fall down; I will make mistakes, I will face heartaches.  By grace, He will not let me go.