Breathe

Week 2 of my new degree program is underway. I'm getting a little beaten down. In fact, I'm writing on a Tuesday because I didn't really have much to say yesterday, the day I'd normally write. I couldn't even express my frustration. This morning, I decided to share the song that's been going through my head in response to that frustration in case it may speak to someone who reads this. It's by the Newsboys, and it goes like this:

Tuesday the first
I'll call this entry 'Mistake'
Cheap imitation, my life feels like a fake
A people person, some days people annoy me.
I'm growing edgy
Wednesday's title: 'Avoid Me.'

I hope that the title for my tomorrow is not 'avoid me.' Here's the chorus, and what I was praying under my breath and somewhat below my consciousness:

Breathe on me
Breathe oh breath of God
Breathe on me
'til my heart is new
Breathe on me
Breathe oh Breath of Life
Breathe on me
'till I love like you do

The second verse is worth a reprint, too.

Thursday, the fifth
I title 'Drivers Beware'
Tempered-a-mental
and I don't really care
I gave 'till I bled
You laughed when I fainted
Don't want to live this life
bitter and tainted.

I'll start writing on Tuesdays now, I think.

"Breathe," music by Peter Furler, lyrics by Philip Urry and Peter Furler, from the album Take Me To Your Leader

How Great is Our God

At 5:26 this morning, I was awakened by the most powerful peal of thunder I have ever heard. It was so loud and sounded so directly above my roof that my heart started racing before I even knew I was awake. I figured it was a wake-up call, so I've been up since then, and I'm grateful for the early alarm. It made it easy for me to think of God's greatness today. There are people who think that experiencing greatness is just a way of escaping one's own smallness for a little while. Personally, need the reminder of my own smallness, and of His power to keep me in a proper follower's position.

Today's song: "How Great is Our God," by Chris Tomlin. I won't repeat many lyrics here. They repeat the title several times and they express God's completeness through several title phrases like "beginning and the end" and "the Lion and the Lamb." My favorite lines of all say, "He wraps Himself in light/ and darkness tries to hide/ and trembles at His voice." Amen. This morning, He awoke me before dawn so that even in the darkness I could ponder and be assured of His greatness. How awesome is He!

The Masses

Today was a big day. We saw Claude Monet, Mr. (first name unknown) Degas, Whistler, Botticelli, and Frank Lloyd Wright at the Art Institute of Chicago Museum. It was free day so there were throngs of people there. Then we saw Rick Bayless 0f Mexico, One Plate at a Time fame, at his restaurant, where we had dinner. He's a bit of a hero to us, and there he was, in our midst - how very Mexican - like the wrestling heroes that walk in the midst of their fans in Mexico City. Then we got together with thousands of others in Grant park and watched Paul Newman in The Hustler. The park is situated in the elbow curve of high-rises that face Lake Superior, so the movie was framed by the beautiful, gently but definitely lit skycrapers. I looked at them and thought - it's all people. The big buildings and businesses - it's all made up of lots and lots of people. Then I caught the eye of someone seated in front of me, then another person, and I wasn't afraid, instead, I felt warmth. And I thought, Jesus looked at them, and had compassion on the masses. And I was impressed by Jesus' liberality.

Beautiful One

You've opened my eyes to your wonders anew

You've captured my heart with this love

Cause nothing on earth is as beautiful as you.

I'm away from home. There is a fortune cookie message taped to the monitor of the computer on which I work as a guest. It says: "Beautiful things await you." That's a fortune worth keeping!

We sang this song at church yesterday. I'd only ever heard it on the radio before.

Beautiful one, I love (you)
Beautiful one, I adore
Beautiful one, my soul must sing!

The thing is, He really did open my eyes to his wonders anew, and He has been capturing my heart for quite a while. I thought more about the fact that He is beautiful. My friend played a song for our church that said "I will go... because there is none so lovely."

The fact that Jesus is so beautiful is hard to miss, and it does cause my soul to sing. And when things are hard, when I feel like I've given up what I most feared to lose, I remember His worth and surrender. When my soul is downcast because I miss what I've given up, I remember His beauty and my soul is glad again.

O my soul, praise Him!

His Favor

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper Thy work and defend thee
Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee.

I've been learning about the Lord's favor for the past few months, and these past few sunny summer days I think I've experienced it in a way that was nearly tangible. It was like a joy, a pleasure, coming from somewhere else, on a regular, otherwise not noteworthy day. It reminded me of these verses.

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,
Let them ever sing for joy;
And may you shelter them,
That those who love Your name may exult in You.
For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord,
You surround him with favor as with a shield."
Psalm 5:11-12

Here's something I've learned about the Lord's favor: He favors me above those who are not His children because He sees Christ in me, and He loves Christ so much. His favor doesn't surround me because I have surrendered so many tokens of affection at His feet. I have such a puny faculty for love that I probably couldn't give much love if it weren't for His leading in my life. I want to show Him love, but I found out that He just loves me and loves me regardless of my oaths and offices. In sum, I don't have to worry about losing His favor. Instead, I:

Ponder anew what the Almighty will do
If with his love He befriend me.

Lyrics from "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty," written by Joachim Neander (1650-1680) and translated by Catherine Winkworth