Sweet Hearts

Happy Valentine's Day!  It has been a very chocolatey day around here.  We started with chocolate-chip heart-shaped pancakes.

This was a successful pancake experiment.  I used the standard BHG cookbook recipe.  Sometimes it does work (see prior post about experimenting with pancakes for backstory).

At dinner we had brownies, and my husband gave me a big box of chocolate.  Unexpected!  Notice there is already one missing.

Tonight our family had a candlelight dinner.  We gave the kids little presents and let me know how much we loved them.  I got this idea from Sarah, the Character Mom.  Check out her blog at http://thecharactermom.blogspot.com/ .  She has a monthly newsletter full of ideas on how to teach one character trait per month; it's been a great resource for us these past few weeks.  The Funky Sheep of a prior post were an idea that came directly from her.

Here is my little sweetheart and me tonight. We got a little dressed up for our "family party."  This just became one of my favorite pictures.

So, it has been a sweet Valentine's Day, full of sweets.  There is another kind of sweet heart I've been thinking of, and that is the kind that is pure of bitterness.

I had the privilege of hearing a speaker this week who discussed finding grace for the seasons of life.  During one of her sessions, she spoke about bitterness, and about how to run to God once you've been running away.  So much of what she said helped me understand passages of my life.  Two things that stood out were that sometimes going numb is the response of bitterness, and that sometimes you can run away from God without anyone knowing because you are such a well-trained Christian; I believe "housebroken" was the word she used.  I don't want to go back to being bitter.  I want the Lord to sweeten my heart so I can continue to walk in grace.

Since the retreat, I've been thinking of this Natalie Grant song, which is in the repertoire of one of my voice students.  As such, I have thought about every word.

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned sovereignty
And had my share of doubt

Check. :)

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams
And though it seemed 
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on.

Praise the Lord, yes.  Check.

And the chaos in my life has been a badge I've worn
And though I have been torn
I will not be moved.

Those last three lines - the bridge - have made me think a lot.  Chaos can bring bitterness.  It did me.  I'm not sure why that is.  In any case, I feel like the thing to do now is move forward.  I look back and see how even in the bitterest of my bitterness, He was there, sweetening, drawing me to Him.  I just love Him for that.  I may stumble, I may fall down; I will make mistakes, I will face heartaches.  By grace, He will not let me go.