Date Night

Happiness is... going on a long date with your husband, stretching from afternoon to evening. We saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie. I love spy movies for the same I liked this one: the application of human intelligence and prowess to its fullest potential. It's fictional, but fascinating. They're all preposterous in some way, of course, but still, even seeing imagined genius is satisfying. So, I want to write later about fig leaves in editing. Ebert said something about this film that made me want to watch it- namely, that Guy Ritchie edited this film so that we weren't merely left to guess what was happening during the fight scenes. He said it showed confidence to do so. On one hand, I think the assertion is a true one that certain editing schemes are meant to hide what a film lacks. On the other hand, I was guessing, and confused, during fight scenes. The first time I saw Mission Impossible (the first one) I was thoroughly confused. Watching it later I saw everything fall into place. I definitely want to see the new MI film. As for Sherlock, I understood most of what happened within the last five minutes of the film, and as I said, I enjoyed the parts I talked about. But I wonder, was anyone else as lost as me?

Every good and perfect gift

I am now the proud owner of a bread machine. I shall make bread with it. Oh, the bread! I will probably be sharing pictures. I only specifically asked for three things for Christmas, and really didn't think I'd get the third. I did get 2/3. The other thing I got was a nice pair of jeans. I may need to exchange them, but they are indeed nice jeans, so I officially got what I wanted. I was thinking this morning about James 1:17: "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows"(NASB). So much thought and preparation goes into a good gift. I would like to become more like the Father in the year 2012 in that I am more prepared to give good gifts, whatever they might look or feel like. This is only possible if I believe and receive the blessings God wants to give me. I've been thinking about the Sara Groves song "Open My Hands," which you can listen to here: Open My Hands This song is in a way a cheerful companion to "Like a Lake," a song from a previous album about the struggle to keep one's heart open after a grievance. "Everything in me is tightening," says the latter song, "curling in around this ache/ I will lay my heart wide open / Like the surface of a lake." "I believe," begins "Open My Hands." That is the key to staying open. I believe in a blessing I don't understand I've seen rain fall on wicked and the just Rain is no measure of his faithfulness He withholds no good thing from us. If I'm going to stay broken and open, I have to believe that He isn't going to withhold from me. Even if at times I feel need, which is something the rest of the song addresses. Even if I feel like I'm the last one on everyone else's Christmas list, and I end up with re-gifted socks. On a lighter note, while the kids are sleeping, I am baking Jesus' birthday cake. This is helping Kyrstin understand what Christmas is about. I am pondering now how to do the candles. I'm sure an idea will present itself.

It's Not Perfect...

So we've been on the road this weekend, got home and had to figure out what to do for dinner before we put kids to bed, go to Wal-Mart, and finish prep for our Christmas tomorrow. We're kind of tired and the house is a mess. It's not going to be perfect. This weekend I caught a few minutes of a kids' Christmas cartoon, the theme of which, in the end, was that "It's not perfect, but it's Christmas." It fit beautifully with what I felt the Lord had been teaching me over the weekend, which is that I can still rejoice even when things don't turn out quite like I'd imagined. He used the last few verses in Habakkuk. The "It's not perfect, but it's _________" formula works for a lot of things. Well, this post isn't perfect, but it's done.

Santa

 

This may be a better version of the picture in the previous post.

All Things Bright and Beautiful

 

We saw Santa last night. The kids were so happy. I got to see that glimpse of wonder I've heard tell of, when Kyrstin figured out that Santa was right there. Stefan did well, too. I brought him up to Santa, and he turned to look at the big guy and smiled. And we thought we'd have to hold him during the shoot. This picture will always make me smile.

Speaking of things that make you smile, this morning Kyrstin wanted me to read *All Things Bright and Beautiful*, which is this beautifully illustrated children's book with the words to the hymn. My last post was about a children's hymn. This one is, too; the content is pretty basic, but it is a happy theme and a beautiful book. I think this same author does other stuff - we read Let There Be Peace On Earth awhile back. Neither are doctrinally rich. It reminds me of something that CS Lewis said, which is that a children's book should have something to say that will matter to adults, as well. Well, I am not entirely sure Let There Be Peace On Earth does, bc it is kind of universalist, but ATBAT is just lovely, and it's true. As a bonus, each of these books has the written music along with the story of the author and song. This would be a good idea for future childrens' books.

Here's the Amazon link so you can see what the book looks like. Its the artwork that makes it work - all cut paper art.

O Wondrous Love

Okay, today, happiness is wearing Christmas tree earrings my MIL gave me. Check 'em out.

I was reading Hebrews 13 today as part of my group Bible study, and have been reminded by the first three verses about the love we are to show both to fellow believers and to strangers. What a wonderful time of year to be reminded of this. What a wonderful love provides us the freedom to love, to do good, to show hospitality. What wondrous love! I got thinking about this song. It's a Sovereign Grace song, and I'm not sure that this cover is licensed. Hopefully this is okay. If anyone objects, I'll take it down. I know this isn't specifically at Christmas song, but it is the song my heart is singing at this time during this season, and I think it fits well. I love giving gifts - I probably take it too far. Somewhere at the heart of it is the kernel of truth that I've been given a great gift, a wondrous love "that sings of Calvary/ The sweetest song this sinner's ever known." I did not deserve this gift. Inherent in giving a gift is that it is not deserved or earned. That God would come to earth to provide a way for me to come to him humbles me, breaks me, makes my cold heart open up every time I am reminded of this gospel. So, while it is easy to lose sight of the gospel at Christmas, I am grateful for this reminder, and go back into the festivities now with a song in my heart - this song - and a sense of wonder at God's perfect love. Also, for fun, enjoying these festive earrings. ;)

Jesus, Joy of the Highest Heaven

I have a passion for Christmas music, new and old, and especially for new music that I think is good enough that it will have staying power and become "old" someday. I've heard a few new things this year that I think will have staying power. I think the Getty's "How Suddenly A Baby Cries" will hold on, but take awhile to become popular. I also like knowing the story behind a song. It's the Gettys' first Chrsitmas album and their first Christmas with a new baby. I'm sure that for them the Incarnation has taken on new meaning. This song, "Jesus, Joy of the Highest Heaven" is described below the video as a children's hymn. I'm not really sure of the difference between children's hymns and hymns for the rest of us anymore; maybe something to explore for a future post. In any case, I think having children makes you think differently about Jesus, "born as a little baby." I was actually talking to my daughter about how she was once in my belly like baby Jesus was in Mary's belly. This was a new concept to her. She likes it. I've shown her pictures. She has asked if she can get back in my belly. I explain that she is too big now. Here is the video, and below, a brief, non-sacred anecdote related to the above discussions. So, I told the kids, who were sitting in the dining area at their little table, to wait while I went to get the manger so I could talk to them about it. I was referring to pieces of our Fisher Price Little People nativity. When I got over to the nativity, which was just around the corner in the living room, I couldn't find baby Jesus at first. No big deal; last year we lost Mary for several weeks. I've gotten in the habit of praying out loud around the house for all kinds of things, especially when the kids are awake. So, I prayed, "Dear Lord, please help me find baby Jesus." And all of a sudden, I realized that it sounded like the premise of some kind of sermon illustration, Internet forward, or Hallmark movie. And the dread of being that made me pray even harder that I'd find him, and I did. He was down with the knock-off Little People mechanics in a drawer below the nativity perch. Now, I could really go on here about how Jesus would be with the lowly, etc., but that is not the point. Please. The point is that God helped me find the baby Jesus, and I went and talked to the kids about how Mary praised God for getting to be the mother of the most special baby ever. Happy ending.

One Song

I was thinking this morning about lyrics that I might post as a Facebook status, and my mind drifted to "What Child Is This?" Originally, I was going to post the chorus from the third verse, but decided to check myself for accuracy, and looked up the lyrics online. I was amazed to see how one song contains so many varied themes of Christmas. The narrative with its characters and tangibility - the baby on his mother's lap, angels singing, shepherds at their post. The humiliation of the King, chosen by the King himself - lying in "mean estate," when, as Milton reminds us, His true state is Kingly. Philippians 2:6-7 describes the attitude of such a king, who, "being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." The song focuses on the manger, but provides scope. The chorus of verse 2, which I hadn't really paid attention to before, says: "Nails, spear shall pierce Him through/ The cross be borne for me, for you." This is more than a sentimental glimpse at a family group; the "babe, the son of Mary," is "the Word made flesh." The last two lines of each chorus address the listener, but then in verse three, the entire verse is a call to worship, inviting us to imagine our connection to peasants and kings, who alike are humble before this baby, the King of kings. The lyrics I was thinking of posting to Facebook were those of the chorus of verse 3: "Raise, raise your song on high/ the Virgin sings her lullaby/ Joy, joy to all He brings/ The babe, the Son of Mary." I suppose these verses stood out to me because I am a singer and songwriter. Somehow I naturally want to exult in the joy I find in God, notwithstanding and not ignoring the pain, the suffering, the sin in the world. As Sara Groves puts it in "Tell Me What You Know," "so much can go wrong/ and still there are songs." There are songs because Jesus was born - because of Emmanuel, God with us. So in this one song we have the humility of the King, the salvific perspective of the manger, and a call to response. It's the gospel, and a skillful song indeed. (I can't find a video that features all of the original lyrics, but this one has some nice artwork. I read the lyrics here.)

Hold Me, Jesus

Tonight our associate pastor preached a very profound, but at the same time, practical, message, based on John 10:10. Profound in the sense of what the enemy it out to do, practical in the sense of what I can do. Pray. Read the Bible. Be intentional. I was thinking of my daughter the whole time. I have grave concerns about her happiness and spiritual influences. I felt so burdened by life, and kept thinking of this song by Rich Mullins. (Not sure what's going on with the video, but there it is.) I have been surprised lately by how much ordinary life counts in God's scheme of things. I kept thinking that what the pastor was speaking of referred to the events of my life: raising kids, being involved in ministry, dealing with hurts I've received and inflicted. It keeps surprising me, to find that faith is required for ordinary life.

An open heart

Today's prayer: "Dear Lord, help me to open my heart and savor all of your goodness this season." I am feeling the crunch, especially right now, of all the things I need to do, and on top of that, my own touchiness and stinginess. I don't want that. I don't want to be constricted by bitterness or business. Lord, help! Things I think I need to do: laundry, clean house, go to crafts store for stuff for daughter's birthday, play with kids, make photo calendars, decorate for Christmas. Oh, take shower. Change diapers and help preschooler use the toilet. Also would like to do something amazing as a mom. Also need to contact someone about running sound for an event next week, and then also invite a friend to said event. I may minimize the party. Daughter will not mind. Need to figure some things out. Help, Lord. I know you are good. Amen.

ChristMonth

Christmas can't be very far away. Just a month. I know it is Black Friday but I am not out there yet. I have to make it to Target this afternoon, but just for the pharmacy. So, maybe I'll get in on the excitement. It would just be for fun; we're not after any big ticket items. Well, as for our Thanksgiving day, we realized yesterday that we had some other friends that were alone. Why hadn't we thought of these people? We don't see them all the time, I guess that's why. By the time we realized it, it was too late to make plans. The connection was made possible in a very strange way. We were watching the news, and there was a fatal shooting down the street from their rental property. I contacted them to find out if they were in town or aware. They were, and alone for Thanksgiving. So, we get to see them tomorrow. I have no idea what the rest of the story was with the shooting. It's in a nice enough neighborhood; a place I'd definitely live. I almost don't want to think about it too much. I have a VERY busy week ahead. Here's the delicious cake I made. It's a bundt!

Without money and without cost

My house smells like teriyaki chicken, chocolate chip cookies, yeast rolls, and rice. I mean, if you've ever been susceptible to the warm fuzzies, I think this would do it for you. We are preparing a Thanksgiving feast (the terikyaki is for tonight - Thanksgiving Eve). We will have turkey, green bean casserole, stuffing, cranberry sauce (good stuff), yeast rolls, and cake. It will be more than enough. Today we happened to be driving on the highway, and at our exit waited a man with a long white beard and a cardboard sign. He stared at us, peered at us, the second car in line at the stoplight, which seemed forever. "It's Santa Claus!" said Kyrstin. I had had the same thought. Sweet girl. I tried to explain he was not Santa Claus, but a hungry man who wanted a job to do. "No, he's Santa Claus," she protested. Then, from somewhere, came the exclamation, "Get out of our way, Santa Claus!" I think she thought that we were sitting so long at that light because he wouldn't move. Fixing our feast today, I remembered the verses from Isaiah, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost." I began thinking that I wished I knew someone who needed a meal to share, who could come over and be with us. I don't think I do. I don't know that man or where to find him. I'm sure there's someone I could invite, I just don't know how to make the announcement. Maybe on Facebook? Shout out KJV style, "Ho, all you who are thirsty!" At the same time, I don't want a hoarde showing up. I can't feed them all. I could have like four people over to share a meal with us. Not sure how I could find them without still feeling like I'm excluding people. In high school, my dad's church always did a community Thanksgiving meal. People came to the waters, and ate without money and without cost. It felt right. It's a meal that needs to be shared, as it was originally, to thank God for what He has provided. So, we're making a feast, and the invitation is open, should anyone read this. We love to cook and share.

His state is kingly

Woke up early with Stefan this morning, and read a little bit of Milton. Poem about waiting on God. It reminded me of how I feel sometimes limited because of the talent I have but cannot use because I must take care of kids. I have read the poem many times before but never thought of it that way. Resonating in my mind as I went back to sleep were the words, "wait," and "write." Of course Milton didn't quit writing when he went blind. He used his daughters as his amaneunses. Hmm... Here's the poem. When I consider how my light is spent, Ere half my days in this dark world and wide, And that one talent which is death to hide Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent To serve therewith my Maker, and present My true account, lest He returning chide; "Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?" I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need Either man's work or His own gifts. Who best Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed, And post o'er land and ocean without rest; They also serve who only stand and wait." Reading Milton changed my life; made me think of higher things, almost made me quit school (long story). Every time I encounter him it makes me pause, think, and want to strive to be a better writer.

Happiness is... this picture

 

Happiness is...

I think I'll start a "happiness" is category, where I just post some of my favorite things. Yesterday I was cruising the Internet looking for the perfect dessert to make for Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed it at first, but after about thirty minutes, I felt a bit queasy. I have an aversion to words like "moist" and "morsel," and a lot of the food pictures were the equivalent. I think I'm going to make a recipe my cousin sent me. No pictures; just a recipe that sounded good. She described it as "all fall," "not elegant," and something the kids would like. That's kind of neither here nor there - my point here is that I ended up making a crock pot bread in the afternoon with some pumpkin puree my husband made. Happiness is making bread in a crockpot, having it for dessert with family at dinner and then having it for bressert next morning.

No Good Thing

I will open my hands, will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic "yes" to all that You have for me

. - Sara Groves, "Open My Hands," from the 2011 album, Invisible Empires

I was reading on PW's blog today that if you're going to blog, you should do is as often as possible, as much as possible, even if it's just a paragraph.

Thanksgiving is on Thursday, and prompts me to write a possibly very short post, just to say that I feel I have so much to be thankful for.

Sometimes I get scared that it won't all work out. I fret over details and schedules a lot. Even when things go well, I'm afraid they'll go too well and I won't be able to keep up/meet expectations.

This song reminded me the other day that those times that a lot seems to be going on, it may that God is just trying to bless. Perhaps when I open my hands to receive it, I let go of a bunch of other cares that don't matter.

A bit slapdash, but some thoughts:

I was thinking this morning about wisdom. "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding," Solomon instructs his son (Proverbs 4:7). The importance of value and wisdom is clearly seen in this verse and throughout the Bible book of Proverbs. The benefits are listed as well: she will be a garland to grace your neck, etc. In James 1 believers are told that if they lack wisdom, they should ask God for it, and he will freely give it.

I was thinking of a parallel passage in Colossians 3, which is a chapter talks about holy living, about truthfulness and goodness in relationships, and about unity through this goodness. The author instructs the believers to "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." I am asking questions of the text, i.e., what does it mean to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly? What is the connection between teaching, admonishing, and singing? I think there is a connection between wisdom and the songs we sing. I'd like to trace that out.

Worthy Words: Making Each One Count

Milton begins Paradise Lost with an invocation, asking the heavenly muse to sing, through him, to describe the fall of mankind, and "justify the ways of God to men."

And chiefly thou O Spirit, that doest prefer
Before all temples the upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for thou know'st; thou from the first
Wast present, and with mighty wings outspread
Dove-like sat'st brooding on the vast abyss
And mad'st it pregnant: what in me is dark
Illumine, what is low raise and support;
That to the height of this great argument
I may assert eternal providence,
And justify the ways of God to men.


Milton makes it clear here he is talking about the Holy Spirit of God - God Himself. The imagery is striking - a dove-like spirit who sits on a nest of darkness, giving birth to creation. That the Holy Spirit descended on Christ like a dove at his baptism was known, but this is a fresh and surprising take, and connotes creation and annointing at the same time. Milton feels he has a serious task and needs substantial help to complete it.

What an inspiration Milton is, and moreover, the footnotes to Paradise Lost. There is a richness and knowledge there that rewards and delights a careful reader. Every word is chosen for the multiple levels of meaning, for the sound is produces, the tone it creates, and the number of syllables and accents of the word.

In PL, Milton makes the argument that God was just and generous in sentencing sinful man and angels. In a much tighter structure, the author of "Before the Throne of God Above" describes the role of Christ as intercessor between man and God, especially in defense against the accuser who has been after Adam since Paradise.

This hymn is even better than I ever realized, in fact, it's just about perfect. I know this because I observe its excellencies, and when I try to think of a single improvement that could be made, I can't! I will point out a few things here that are technical and lend to the overall greatness of this hymn.

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

First of all, the message is perfectly clear. Second, it is memorable. In the first four lines, the P sound is allierated four times. In lines 5-7, note the repetition of sounds in the words "graven," "written," and "while in." In the same lines, the H sound is alliterated 6 times. The last line is a concise eight syllables, whereas a roundabout way would be to say that "There is nothing anyone can say that would make me have to leave heaven," which is 18 syllables. Similar structures of repetition and conciseness are repeated in the other stanzas. This is a hymn that helps people guard their minds and hearts against Satan's attacks. It is worth putting the effort into good writing for such a purpose.

"Still, My Soul Be Still" is a modern hymn by Keith and Kristyn Getty and Stuart Townend that urges the soul to take comfort in God's abiding presence.

Still my soul be still
And do not fear
Though winds of change may rage tomorrow
God is at your side
No longer dread
The fires of unexpected sorrow

God You are my God
And I will trust in You and not be shaken
Lord of peace renew
A steadfast spirit within me
To rest in You alone


I love the meter of this song. The number of syllables per line in the first verse are 5, 4, 9, 5, 4, 9, as though the first two short statements add up to the third, and so on. I also love the allusions to scripture that capture a large amount of meaning in just a few words. "The fires of unexpected sorrow" is a great line and I am not sure what to say about it. "Lord of peace renew/ a steadfast spirit within me/ to rest in You alone" is a very interesting lyrics. We know him to be the Prince of Peace. We know the Psalmist's cry in Psalm 51 to have a right spirit renewed. What is new here is the plea for renewal to trust. It's beautiful.

"Less Like Scars" by Sara Groves is a similarly introspective song.

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember


In the word "rubble," Groves communicates a great deal of information. Her world is in ruins - it has been destroyed or is in decay. She is like a natural disaster victim. The rhyme of "subtle" and "rubble" is nice. I've never heard it before. Nothing wrong with "love" and "above," but something new gets my attention; makes me listen. Ultimately this song is about something quite hard to describe, but she does it by negative and positive descriptions. Not so much this, but that. In later verses, she says "less like a prison, more like my room/ less like a casket, more like a womb." She makes each word count by choosing words that convey a great deal of information.

Chris Rice uses the metaphor of choice words to describe the potential value of each new day in "Life Means So Much" (this is one of my favorite pop songs ever).

Every day is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there's plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessing
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketching


He uses a journal filling with pages as a metaphor for life. Curse vs. blessing reminds me that I can be intentional about how I harm or help. Rhyming verse vs. random sketching is a potent way of describing the difference between a well-lived or haphazard lifestyle. Note the alliteration in "compose a curse" and "bring a blessing." Also, metrically, note how "or some random sketching" seems to be lacking a few syllables to fit the line. This could be coincidental, but in my opinion it serves the meaning of the lyric well because it seems lacking in execution. The chorus is simple, asking God to help us making the days count, just as a good writer makes his words count.

Reliant K is a band I could go on and on about. If I could choose only one word to describe their lyrics, "clever" is what I would choose. Unlike the other songs I've mentioned here so far, you have to listen hard to catch what they're saying because it all goes by so fast, as in the bridge and chorus of "Be My Escape."

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house
All the while You hold the key
And I've been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go,
Promise I'm going because

I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging You,
I'm begging You,
I'm begging You to be my escape.


There is a lot going on here, literarily. I particularly like the uses of "house" and "death/dying." There is a poetry term for what they're doing - using the same word with different meanings (Shakespeare did it all the time) - but I can't remember what it is. I think it does a good job telling the listener that harboring doubt and insecurity can be its own prison, and that sometimes a certain kind of death is required for freedom.

I'll end with Switchfoot's "Let Your Love Be Strong," which I find achingly beautiful and evocative.

As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh
Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist
Spinning circles in our skies tonight
Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles
Maybe our stars are unanimously tired

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground
Falling down like broken satellites

Let your love be strong, and I don't care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your skies
All of that I am hanging on
All of my world resting on your love


I've done a little editing here - the first verse and chorus are missing. In the first quoted stanza, I imagine the author sitting on a park somewhere just outside of L.A., feeling very fatigued and projecting this feeling onto the world around him - the moon becomes the "dead moon," the freeways "sigh," and the stars are tired. I'll never ever get over the rhyming of "Los Angeles" with "unanimous." One of my favorite word choices. Ever. This stanza reminds me of Wordsworth's "Daffodils," about the weight of all this weary, unintelligible world. Tired as he is of the tired world, the author says God's strong love is enough for him. The second stanza I've quoted is underscored by snare drums to emphasize the war theme. If the weary world should be torn apart, with him in it, God's love is enough. I also love the balance of heavy themes with the somewhat lighthearted resignation expressed by, "I don't care what goes down." It's slang, but it also works into the lyric, as he has mentioned stars falling around him. It has two meanings, so again, it's a phrase that really counts.

I hope all of these musings over my favorite songs help to illustrate what some worthy word choices look like, over a range of styles and centuries.

Signs and Wonders

My daughter and I were enjoying spring weather in the back yard yesterday, and I noticed a bird anxiously guarding a perimeter around this birdhouse on our porch. I think she is nesting. It reminded me of a song I'd written after a similar encounter three years ago, when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was in awe of the sensations I was feeling, combined with what I was reading about her development, and the images I'd seen on the ultrasound screens. Every day was something amazing. Three years later, on another spring day, you could say that we were an ordinary mom and an ordinary little girl playing in an ordinary back yard. And yet, she has her own unique personality, sense of humor, favorite foods, and her own voice with songs of her own to sing. Every day is a revelation of something new she has learned or can do. Her most recent contribution to the world was the creation of the word "marshmunnies," which is what she calls the bunny-shaped marshmallows I put in her Easter eggs. I revised the song I started three years ago to include both bookends. Here are the lyrics.

Outside the door
I watch a bird feather her nest
I'm glad for her
And hope for the nest.
I see the buds
Where the blossoms are soon to be
These are the signs
And wonders of Spring.

All the world's waiting for something new
Now that April showers have come and gone
I want you to know, we've been waiting, too,
For our special someone to come along

And it's changing me
Making me see life in a whole new way
I wake up wondering
What new secrets will you tell today?
Life is full, these days,
Of signs and wonders.

I can't keep
These secrets all to myself
That heartbeat
Is a story to tell.
I'm singing
Because from so early on, I knew
There'd never
Be anyone quite like you.

All the world's waiting for something new
Now that April showers have come and gone
I want you to know we've been watching you
The little star our twinkle has now become

And it's changing me
Making me see life in a whole new way
I wake up wondering
What new secrets will you reveal today?
Life is full, these days,
of signs and wonders.


Each of our lives are ordinary, but I have learned that it is ordinary to be full of wonder and possessed of extraordinary potential. It is normal to have a unique destiny. Life means so much.

"'No eyes has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him.'" 1 Corinthians 2:9

Words of Wonder

Our songwriting group is going to discuss an article by Bob Kauflin, which is actually a chapter from a book, which is, in turn, sort of "proceedings" from a conference. The title of the chaper is: "Words of Wonder: What Happens When We Sing?" and the book is The Power of Words and the Wonder of God, eds. Justin Taylor and John Piper.

Kauflin immediately makes his claim about the importance of music to the church, and specifically, the importance of singing. His lengthy quote of Luther bears repetition, because it sets the tone for the whole essay:

When man's natural ability is whetted and polished to the extent that it becomes an art, then do we note with great surprise the great and perfect wisdom of God in music, which is, after all, His product and His gift; we marvel when we hear music in which one voice sings a simple melody, while three, four, or five other voices play and trip lustily around the voice that sings its simple melody and adorn this simple melody wonderfully with artistic musical effects, thus reminding us of a heavenly dance where all meet in a spirit of friendliness, caress, and embrace...A person who gives this some thought and yet does not regard it [music] as a marvelous creation of God, must be a clodhopper indeed and does not deserve to be called a human being; he should be permitted to hear nothing but the braying of asses and the grunting of dogs.


Kauflin notes: "We may not want to imitatate Luther's attitude, but we do want to imitate his passion for singing - because God himself is passionate about singing." He then goes on to provide proof texts, such as Ephesians 5:19 (part of being filled with the Spirit is singing certain songs), Zephaniah 3:17 (God sings), and Hebrews 2:12 and Psalm 22:22 (Christ "sings," although figuratively).

He then delves into the most important subject of his text, which is the importance of words to singing. He divides Christian attitudes into three categories:
1) Those who think music supercedes the Word - that it is more moving and more important.
2) Those who think music undermines the Word, and would separate them entirely.
3) Those who think music should serve the Word, and he is in this camp. And so am I.

He observes several ways music can serve the Word. First, it can help us remember words. This is very important, because memory is important. What we remember is what we really live by, regardless of what we may "know." I think of songs as ways of speeding up access to memory, like increasing RAM speed (surely in five years this will be an obsolete metaphor).

To make words memorable, Kauflin urges us to "use effective melodies." His example is "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," which he describes is "a well-crafted lyric set to a memorable, singable, and pleasing tune"(125), and with this I would agree. Sometimes the melody of a hymn can be updated for a new generation, and Kauflin notes this is a good thing, preserving the lyrics for that generation.

Since we remember what we sing, Kauflin urges us to "sing words that God wants us to remember." He quotes Gordon Fee, "'Show me a church's songs and I'll show you their theology'" (126). A thought-provoking question is, what does my church's music say about my theology? A surprising point he makes is that we ought to memorize songs.

To further his argument about the benefits of songs for the church, Kauflin posits that "singing can help us engage emotionally with words." Kauflin describes two ways this works: songs allow us to take more time to reflect on the meaning of words, by adding a celebratory, mournful, or reverent melody music can augment the sentiment of the words we're singing. He makes the familiar point that music alone cannot make a propositional claim; only words are capable.

He then goes on to defend why it is important that songs do affect us emotionally. This was one of the most interesting parts of the paper to me. Kauflin wrote, "The emotions that singing is meant to evoke are responses to the truths we're singing about God - his glory, his greatness, and his goodness. Vibrant singing enables us to connect truth about God seamlessly, with passion, so that we can combine doctrine and devotion, edification and expression, mind and heart"(130). I like this kind of thinking.

The last benefit of singing he addresses is that it "can help us use words to demonstrate and express our unity." Very simply, "[s]inging enables us to spend extended periods of time communicating the same thoughts, the same passions, and the same intentions" (131). In singing corporately, we unite as a corpus - a body. Toward this end, Kauflin advises that we "sing songs that unite rather than divide the church" (131), recognize the functional limits of creativity for church music (132), remember that we are united by the gospel, not music (132) and anticipate singing in heaven (134).

The last point is thought-provoking from a writer's perspective. If I were a strict Reformed theologian, which I'm not, I would believe that the finest works of earth will find their place in God's kingdom. Like I said, I'm not Reformed - as far as I've looked into it I can't quite swallow it all - but I am intrigued by this idea. It has often made me wonder if there are any songs I know today that will make it into heaven's repertoire.

Easter

It has been a good day of thinking about the cross. My husband and I were listening to the Sovereign Grace Pandora channel today, and noticing how many songs we really love seem appropriate for Easter. That, I suppose, is because Easter celebrates one of the central elements of Christianity.

Among a few we really like:
"To the Cross," Paul Baloche
"Wonderful Maker," Chris Tomlin
"Hosanna," Brooke Fraser
"Before the Throne of God Above," Keith and Kristyn Getty
"Glorious Day," Casting Crowns and others

Cross-centered music for a cross-centered life.

This afternoon I was getting frustrated with my kids, as we are all stuck inside due to the rain, and we don't want to get out and impose on any businesses to be open on this day. Sometimes my homely life just plods along, and I confess there are choices I could make to make it more glorious. I could slip into despair by how quickly I fall back into old habits, my selfish, easily-angered, self comes out. I need to hear the gospel at home, not just at church, because I can look pretty good at church. It's at home that I cannot hide from myself, and such moments help me appreciate the profound love of God to save me, knowing my weakness, my failures.

Choir sang this this morning. It was new to me. I like it.



He is risen!

Love is Still a Worthy Cause

It is Good Friday. We had tuna casserole for dinner. Some denominations participate in a tradition to fast from red meat on Fridays during Lent, so I think there will be a lot of other people having fish tonight, as well. I do believe in the benefit of nutritional fasting, but I have been thinking about fasting in another way for the past week or so. I've been studying Isaiah 58, in which God describes a fast that would truly please him.

"Is this not the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh? Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard." (vv. 6-8)

I have thought a lot about the oppressed, yoked, hungry, and poor. I believe the greatest and most concerning needs are spiritual. I actually think that the passage in Isaiah was speaking of a physical reality that translates into a spiritual reality this side of the cross. Nevertheless, being with God means making certain choices and honoring certain attributes of God that make a physical, tangible difference in this world. I have studied nineteenth century Christian abolitionists - particularly of the female, American, literary stripe - and admired them greatly for their conviction and commitment to putting an end to one form of human misery because they believed in the value of life.

Sara Groves' album Tell Me What You Know was an encouragement to just jump in. Sara is an artist partner with involved in International Justice Mission's efforts to put an end to human trafficking - modern-day slavery. I heard "Love is Still a Worthy Cause" as a word to those who come lately to such work.

Have you listed all the times you've tried
Do you call on all your alibis
When somebody asks the question why are you hiding

did you feel the pull, did you hear the call
did you take a chance and lose it all
do you fear there's no collateral left for trying

(I know this is rhetorical, but I have to answer. Yes.)

Friend, I know your heart is raw
But love is still a worthy cause
Picking up and pressing on
Oh, love is still a worthy cause
Like the touch that starts the thaw
Oh, love is still a worthy cause
or the word that breaks the pause


Love. It does require that I give of my time and resources that I would otherwise spend on myself. And Isaiah 58 says that when I spend, the Lord will satisfy (v. 11); when I fast from my own pleasure, He will provide the feast (v. 14).

I honestly do not have much to fast from these days. About the only thing I can think to give up is TV time, which is a few hour per week. But that is time to write this blog, and work on a few songs. That is something. I am hopeful that thinking of my life as a fast, in this sense, will direct my steps in more purposeful, intentional, resolute ways. I have noticed my pace quicken and my face brighten since I have begun to evaluate my life in these fat-free terms. In this sense, I have already begun to feast.

Song for Stefan

This past week, my little one turned one year old.

He is doing well, and lately has become a bit more snuggly, which I love, although he mostly addles up to me for a quick squeeze and then wiggles away.

Life definitely gets easier when a child turns one. I remember this same phenomenon with my daughter, Kyrstin, who is just 16 months older than Stefan. It was like magic. Today we all played out in the yard, crawling, toddling, laying down, blowing bubbles. Perhaps that is bliss.

Now that the kids are just a little older, my mind has a bit of breathing room, and I am looking beyond the moment or the hour. For instance, yesterday I actually planned not only what we would have for dinner each day, I also planned what we would have for lunch. This is easier now in part because Stefan can eat most of the same foods the rest of us eat. There was a time when I was making two or three different meals per meal - one for the baby, one for the toddler, one for me. I don't mean to complain, but just to show how there for awhile, life was a blessed mess.

Now that I see more personality in Stefan and more character in Kyrstin, I am naturally thinking more about how they'll grow up and the kind of world they will encounter. Honestly, sometimes I get so broken- and down-hearted. I love our little bubble world, but I know it will soon break. I have to pause as I write when I think of how the world can break their hearts, because I can hardly bear the thought. I cannot control it all. When I think about the future, there is only one place I can put my hope, and it is a great hope.

Sara Groves' song "Song for My Sons" puts it well:

I can't say your life will always go like it should
But I can say that God is always good.

Well, time is short, and child #1 is climbing on me as I write these few lines. The cartoon episode only bought me enough time to write this much.

Speaking of buying, I plan to write tomorrow about spending and satisfaction, and more on Sara Groves' Tell Me What You Know album.

Born to Worship

I just downloaded the Hidden in My Heart scripture lullabies album, which sounds pretty good, although I've not listened in full. A cursory Internet search revealed there are a lot of options for parents who want music they can enjoy with their kids. If music can get to the heart of an adult, help us memorize, meditate, reflect, and praise the Lord, why not make that avenue available for children, as well?

I like the Praise Baby stuff because the songs are chosen and produced well. Also, the songs are those of my generation, and I enjoy sharing those with my kids, especially remembering where I was and what God was teaching me when I first heard that song. Case in point: "Amazing Love." I was at a Passion Conference, learning what it meant to praise the Lord, to have a passion for Him that fueled my life, rather than a passion for activity. I was singing that song with thousands of other college kids, part of the 26:8 generation. I want my kids to be part of that - a generation that seeks His face, because He is worth it, and they will find all they need in Him.

At the same time, they are their own generation, and need their own songs. For now, they can borrow ours, and we can write them new ones.

It strikes me that the songs my kids will love and claim as their own will likely have some kind of viral presence before they are sung at a big conference, or published. The networks of communication will be different. And/or, maybe they will be multilingual/multiethnic. At the same time, as much as music has changed over the past several hundred years, I still claim hymns as my own as well. I love the Passion Hymns: Ancient and Modern album; it's a perfect expression of the connection. I hope my kids sing the old hymns - the good ones (not all) - and learn some of their own.

I shared a hymn with our songwriters' group that I thought was perhaps suited for a children's hymn, because it has a tone of gentle trust and surrender that is childlike and sweet. It is my first foray into children's music. Perhaps I'll return to this territory more as my kids get a little older.

Hymn

Let my life tell a fragrant story to the hearers I walk among
Of the knowledge of the holy; all my resource and wisdom.
Though I cannot convey by the senses all the truth you have revealed
Let my life testify like incense of a treasure within concealed.

Let my words be seasoned with blessings, giving grace to all who hear.
Gentleness in my tone be confessing the sweet truth that You are near.
Let my work be as unto You, Lord: faithful, cheerful, complete, and fair,
So that in whatever I do, your sweet aroma spreads everywhere.

Let the Holy Spirit earnest be the confidence of my hope
The result of redemptive purpose be diffused so that all may know
There is peace that surpasses conception. There is freedom; a soul finds space.
Let my life be a living expression of this story in every place.

Let the ones who beset me with trouble, and the ones who use me ill
See, however they strike me to stumble, God’s right hand upholds me still.
As you modeled supreme absolution, taking sin unto yourself,
Let me trust you for resolution – You are ending all things well.

In Betweens

I don't mind flying but I become a crazy person in airports. It's the waiting, and especially the delays. My son and I made it home from our holiday trip just fine, and now it is January 5, Wednesday. It is not the holidays anymore. The plans I thought I had in place to give me a fresh start when I got home have not settled the way I expected them to. Will this delay drive me crazy, too? It almost did. I confess to 36-or-so hours of denying God's grace to me. He was gentle and comforting, but I was kind of throwing a fit. I begged him to speak to me, and He got me listening to "Petition" from the McCracken album. It brought comfort.

Father what e'er of earthly bliss
Thy sovereign will denies
Accepted at Thy throne of grace
Let this petition rise.

Let the sweet hope that Thou art mine
My life and death attend
Thy presence through my journey shine
And crown my journey's end.

Give me calm, a thankful heart
From every murmur free.
The blessing of Thy grace impart
And make me live to Thee.