Moving Violations

I am trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to try to get any more boxes moved over from the house next door. It means herding the kids back and forth, and the ornery one is in a particular awful mood this morning. On the other hand, I am out of paper towels and my washer is out of commission so cloth ones are in short supply. I think I have a tool to help the one in a bad mood, but it is next door, and again, getting over and back is going to be a fight. I guess I'll have to try. It is so hard to plan right between houses. Situations like this have drained my energy and brain power. I am about to say something I may take back later. I think that either moving or watching kids when you're not quite unpacked is enough to try to do, but both at once is impossible. Yesterday I was driving the kids to Costco to get some little thing; really it was just an excuse to stay in the car for an extra hour. I noticed a police motorcycle ahead, checked my speed and the posted limit, and wasn't that surprised when I got pulled over. The guy was super nice, I must say. Later in the day I was taking a little reading break, and then stood up and hit my head on a light fixture hanging in the middle of the room. I'm just not used to it yet. So I got a goose egg. I think both of these things happened because I am so scattered from moving.

Outside the box

We are relocating, for the second time in less than six months. It was wise to rent first and then buy, but it does mean that we have an extra move. Fortunately, this one isn't far away. Tonight as I was packing up a box of my kids' blocks I realized part of the reason why moving is so hard for me - I want to figure out what I think is the best way to do everything first, and then do it. Trouble is, by the time I figure out the absolute best way of doing it, I could have done it sufficiently three times over. Now I know what my perfectionist, idealistic friends are thinking. That anything less than the best is not worth doing. But for me, it is to the point of paralysis sometimes. As I was packing up this box of blocks, which are irregularly shaped, I was rearranging them as I went, to find the best possible fit. I have tried arranging these blocks before; there is no perfect way to do it. No matter what, the lid just won't quite fit. And since I was just going to carry them by hand from my current house to our new house, it didn't have to be perfect. I really wish it could be. I want every little thing to be just divine - in both the spiritual and aesthetic sense (which makes me wonder if maybe those expressions are different perspectives on the same impulse). But sometimes, I think, I miss the forest for the trees. The main goal is really to get the blocks portable from here to there. Anyway, I had this tiny epiphany and shared it with my husband to try to show him I was growing in some way. He just nodded, and said, "Yeah." So obvious to him, I guess. He's more of a Git 'er Done guy, which is what I knew I needed.

Type A suppression

I think it is sometimes more pleasurable to plan for the future than deal with the present. I need to pack and move, but am thinking about my son's birthday party which is coming up in a month. It seems more fun to do that. Then I'll get to that other stuff. I'll feel energized, I think. The good thing is my daughter is learning lessons about this, too. She's learning that if she does what she needs to do in the present, things are better in the future. I don't think she really understands the future beyond a few hours or a night's sleep. I have wondered lately if I am a repressed Type A. In college I thought I was pretty intense and choleric. Somehow I mellowed out later. Being in a place where there seems like a lot of work to be done brings out the perfectionist in me. I have started a cupcake business that's been going for a few months. I think I enjoy making cupcakes because perfection is possible. It gives me something I can do where, at the end of a baking session, I have a batch of pretty things that make me, and someone else, happy.

Of Waffles and Women

Good morning! I didn't know what to make for breakfast this morning. My daughter woke up an hour early, so I had to figure something out. I hate that feeling. I've been kind of grumpy this morning, but not just because of that. I have to have the house all clean for a showing this afternoon, which is practically impossible with kids in it. Also several things got dropped on my foot, which always brings out the worst in me. I ended up making waffles, which were a hit except that my son threw a big fit over washing his hands, and then was throwing his food around. Maybe grumpiness is contagious. I decided to get some childcare for today so I can get some extra work done and keep the house tidy. I think the kids will have more fun away from grumpy mama anyway. Here is a thought I had: wouldn't it be great if churches offered a "planning period" for moms, in which childcare was provided, but nothing was expected of moms except to sit down and be thoughtful about the activities of the week ahead?

Never once did we ever walk alone

Well, hello there, Interwebs! How long has it been?

I apologize for the long silence.  I've been busy and wrapped up in all kinds of things.  We have moved, found a church, looked for houses to buy, visited friends and family, and generally lived our normal lives.

In all of that I think I almost forgot that God was leading us.  But yesterday I remembered that even in the weirdness,  it is good, because I knew God was leading us.  I think that finally my anthem for this season will be Matt Redman's "Never Once."  Not only because lyrically it is so appropriate, but because I heard it first at our new church.  It is precious to me how God works that way, daisy-chaining the Bible verses, events, and songs that are significant, leading me by that chord of kindness.

Well, my sweet daughter is awake; I'm not sure why she slept in but am glad it was long enough for me to write.

Holiday highlights

The twelve days of Christmas - when do they start?  Can they start now?  I'd like to spend twelve days dwelling on all of the goodness God has brought us this season.  He has certainly filled the hungry with good things, in so many ways.

It was a very crafty Christmas for me - I was able to work with the kids and make some gifts as well as just some fun activities.  Some were Advent-related, and some were just fun.

We spent so much more time with family in the past several weeks than we have been accustomed to in the past ten years - it has been a reunion of sorts.  The kids have LOVED seeing their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.  Especially "baby Jude" as they call him.

We've been able to enjoy the outdoors here in the desert.  The kids have been able to get fresh air and exercise.  Even today, they were outside for hours bouncing on their new trampoline.

I loved gifting this season.  I don't know why.  I think it was because I didn't have to travel; it really freed me up to be more thoughtful.

Altogether, this was just a really fun, family Christmas that I'm sure is going to present us with fond memories in the future.

Thanksgiving

We had our first Thanksgiving as returned Arizonans today.  It was sweet!  We got to host my parents - what better reason to push to get unpacked and settled!  I was thrilled.

My mom knew I was going to make cupcakes, so she surprised me with an early Christmas gift - a cupcake tree!  I arranged the top two tiers with the 10 turkey-topped cupcakes I made for today.  Even before I served them these little guys had brought so much fun to my life, but then when I put them on this stand my family said they looked like a choir - like a living Christmas tree pageant, if you've ever seen one of those.  They're right, of course.  Just imagine them singing, and try not to smile.

Speaking of smiles, I give you here my little boy enjoying finger foods from one of the pilgrim hat style combination plate and dipping-trays I made.  This was another super fun little project.

I liked when I took the picture below that I got so many people in the shot.  Mom and I were standing in my kitchen, just on the other side of that counter with the food on it.  That's my little girl with her Indian-style hat on that she made earlier this week.  My husband was in the kitchen most of the morning, since he made the turkey and stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce, and heated up the gravy.

Well, below is what it's all about; what we have to be thankful for.  I am thankful that my kids got to host their grandparents for Thanksgiving, that they saw them a week or so ago, and will see them in another week or so.  It's rather magical.

Side note: my daughter is wearing an outfit that my mom gave me at a baby shower for Kyrstin four years ago.  I just discovered yesterday that it would fit her, and was thrilled!  It has a bee motif.  On the bib it says, "Bee attitudes," and it is embroidered with attitudes I want to teach Kyrstin: Bee kind, Bee patient, Bee happy, and Bee thankful.  Seemed perfect for today.

We tried to get family pics for our Christmas card - it's all happening so fast! - but the kids wouldn't sit still.  We'll try again next weekend.

I've been trying to teach Kyrstin about Thanksgiving; we have a children's storybook that, I think, fairly represents the story from both the native American and European points of view.  It states as fact that there was a group of people who did not appreciate the way they were forced to worship, and so they were looking for another place to live.  Meanwhile in BSF we have been studying Abraham, and looking at Hebrews 11, which describes Abraham and others looking for the promised land.  

"[T]hey admitted they were strangers and aliens on the earth.  People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.  If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return.  Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one.  Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them" (13c-16).

I thought a lot about the faith and endurance of those early settlers.  I know they could have returned on the Mayflower when it sailed back after that first winter, but they didn't; they worked it out  because they believed.  Deep down they must have had the conviction of things not seen, and they stood and walked by faith.  It is a courageous legacy, one that I hope that I can grow and pass on to my family.

True buttercream

Nom nom nom.

Goofy drivers

Kids at my favorite grocery store out here.

Thus far the Lord has helped me

I read this week in my bible study about how when Noah emerged from the Ark one of the first things he did was to set up an altar and worship God.  Well, we have made it to this point in our journey, and thus far, the Lord has helped us.  So this post is a notch in the tree to help me think on all of God's blessings.

Here are a few specific things He has helped us with already:

- getting my husband a job
- finding us a place to live
- finding buyers for our house
- helping us find a church
- actually physically getting out here
- finding us a really great grocery store (sounds silly but I love it)
- sweet reunions with family once we got out here

These are some pretty big pegs.  I was challenged to change my thinking earlier this week.  One of the things the Lord used was this oldish song by Out of the Grey, which I heard on my TV's "Contemporary Christian" channel.  Good songs have staying power, and I'm glad the Lord brought this one out of the dust as a mile marker for me.

All things weird and wonderful

So today is Halloween. Always a weird day, but especially for us since we literally just moved yesterday. I have been full of all kinds of expectations. Right now our house is a box forest and we are all tired. As I ran an errand today I had to admit that I was feeling kind of weird. Not at home. A bit lost even. Then I realized that its going to take awhile for everything to feel normal, and that that's okay. In the meantime I have the comforting assurance that we are right where we are supposed to be, and that is wonderful.

Here are a few pics of weird and wonderful moments: prepping the caravan, driving through a border patrol station just inside the Easter arizona border, and gazing upon mountains and desert trees from the back porch.

Crickets

Just in case you're (p)interested

Ah, delay! What grief it has sometimes been to me, and yet, what a blessing in disguise! It is a delay that allows me to write this post, sitting here in front of this fire.

We are shifting our deeply-rooted lives 1000 miles west. That is a big ship to turn around. It takes a little more time than we thought.

I've been taking pics of things I think will be my last, like this cup of coffee brewed in my house. Please excuse my hair. I told my husband that I felt like packing up the coffeemaker would be the point of no return. Well, it's not sealed up yet, but I'd kinda rather not get it back out tomorrow, since I washed the carafe. That seems like boring news for the Internet.

Okay, so here's something kind of fun. Pumpkin spice bagels! Yahoo! I'm enjoying all the pumpkin ness.

I'm not on Pinterest, but it benefitted me the other day when I asked my girlfriends for advice on packing up my necklaces. An idea from Pinterest was to thread skinny ones through a straw so they didn't get tangled. So I did. If I were on Pinterest, I'd post this idea. I decided to roll up my busy necklaces in a towel, like so. It made a little necklace log that was easy to pack. TAda! I don't think this is super original, but it was a good solution.

This huge, bright truck is in my driveway. Isn't it pretty? The kids have had a great time running up and down the ramp. Here is my hubs, who essentially wore himself out yesterday and today, loading said vehicle.

So, we're to the point where the house looks like this. And we still have stuff like this in the garage. (Pic was taken during the day, FYI.). So there is just enough left to do that by taking an extra day we can enjoy this fire tonight, rest up, and then wrap up properly and without strain.

Oh yeah, one more pinteresty thing - I saw these apple nachos a site with a other fall recipe I like, and made them for the kids a few times. Nutella a d pb. They LOVE them. Who wouldn't, right? Do other families also go through a jar of Nutella per week, or is it just us, and the novelty of it?

So anyway, in case you're pinterested, we're a day behind but doing fine.

Worthy of our Trust

Okay, so I am waiting on something else to come through, and fighting, fighting SO HARD to trust, and not let my mind "go there." You know where I mean.  There - to the wild fantasy land of what if?

This is a trial.  I know what trials produce.  That is encouraging.  I know that TRUST is a thing I desperately, desperately want to have.

It occurred to me today that sometimes I fail to trust because - get this - I am afraid of being made a fool by God.  I hedge my bets.  That makes no sense at all, right?  I'm pondering that.

Meanwhile, I just know that the Lord is worthy of my trust.  It's not just when I'm going to get the thing I've been praying for.

This reminds me of two songs.  One is (of course!) from the new Getty album.  In a song about the Rich Young Man, Kristyn sings, "When I cling to what I have/ Please wrest it quickly from my grasp."  I have thought of that line A LOT this past week.

It also reminds me of another song, one which nobody really knows, but more people should, by a young man who shared a few songs at our songwriter event last weekend.  The bridge of the song merely says, "The Lord is just/ He is worthy of our trust."  My brother says if you want people to remember one thing, put it in the bridge.  It worked!

He is just.

That reminds me of another song, too, "As Long as You Are Glorified," by Sovreign Grace.  I think I need to listen to that now!

No greater love

I am about to go to bed with a messy house. It's okay. I can clean it tomorrow. But before I do, I wanted to reflect on the wonderful friends the Lord has brought into our lives these past eleven years in Oklahoma.

When you are about to move, or your friend is, you begin to realize what a gap will be left in your life. It is sad. At the same time, that feeling lets you know how deeply significant those relationships have been, and you are deeply grateful.

As I look at the faces in this picture, I think of the stories of their lives and ours; the joys and new beginnings, the sorrows and losses, of the past decade. Not just these pictured here, but others, too, whose lives have touched our own in such a way that they have become part of our story.

This morning I read 1 John 3:16, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." I was reflecting on ways that these friends and others have laid down their lives for one another over the years.

I hope I don't sound maudlin; I have shared plenty of light moments and my cup of humor consistently overflows among these good people. But in little bits of time here, a card there, a prayer continuously renewed, a meal provided, child care offered, a word of scripture spoken at the right time, through a wise teaching, or a home opened and welcoming, in all of these ways, love is shown.

Circumstances sometimes call for great sacrifices. Christ's sacrifice was the ultimate and the most complete, redeeming from sin and destruction all who believe in His authority. The redeemed know how much Christ valued them and what they are called to give in return. Lives are given for others as they are lived: just a little bit at a time.

Your perfect will in your perfect way

Here are the things going on with just some of my girlfriends:

- waiting to find out that a baby will not turn breech again and require a c-section

- waiting to find if husband will get a new job, entailing a total career change and relocation

- waiting to find out when the MRI for a mysterious skull numbness will take place

- waiting on the Lord to provide solutions to financial strain

Here am I, resting a bit after some shakeups, waiting to move, waiting on an offer from a buyer on our house, waiting on various pieces of news from friends and family, wanting pieces to fall into place.

I did download the Getty album I mentioned in my previous post, and over the past few days, a few songs have become dear to me.  One in particular speaks to the heart in the situations mentioned above, and it is called "The Perfect Wisdom of our God."  The first verse is about God's creative power and control in the universe, the second, about His plan and purpose of redemption in the cross, and the third, about His activity and leading in each individual life.  I'm just going to post the lyrics from that last verse here in their entirety.

Oh grant me wisdom from above,

To pray for peace and cling to love,

And teach me humbly to receive

The sun and rain of Your sovereignty.

Each strand of sorrow has a place

Within this tapestry of grace;

So through the trials I choose to say:

“Your perfect will in your perfect way.

I need to care for a daughter right now; she wants to put her new doggie costume on.  Such are the transitions that punctuate life these days.  Such is the Christian life, sometimes.   Unpredictable, yet, I trust, in some way, perfectly timed.

... and He must win the battle

I couldn't figure out why I got so choked up singing "A Mighty Fortress is our God" this morning.  Even as I type these words I feel a bit overcome by those of the "battle hymn of the reformation."  The song tosses me back and forth between my hopelessness in my own strength and the certainty of victory in Christ's.

It is not the first time I'd heard or sung this old song, but it was timely.  I was pleased to discover yesterday that Keith and Kristyn Getty have released a new album of hymns, and in this video  Keith pointed out the contrast between the goal of a pop song, which is to resonate in and of headlines, and a folk or classical song, which ideally outlasts the composer.  "A Mighty Fortress" is just that type of song.

At one point I stopped singing this morning, and just listened.  There were the voices of hundreds of women, singing together.  Then it hit me one reason why I was so overcome: it is the first last for me.  Over the next ten days or so, I'll have a lot of "lasts," since we are relocating soon.  One thing that struck me was the vibrance of the women among whom I had the privilege to stand and sing.  Salt. Of. The. Earth.  At the same time, I felt encouraged that amidst the threat of uncertainty in what will for us be a brave new step, God's "truth abideth still."

His kingdom is forever.

To err is human...

Yesterday I texted a friend's husband a kissieface instead of a fist bump.   Fortunately they both let me live that down.  Today I was texting a girlfriend during church, meaning to text a different friend, who was not.  Fortunately she thought it was funny.  I'm not-a-doin-so-well with the texts.  I think this is a symptom of overload.  My brain is near to firing on all cylinders again, but it's not quite got the necessary power to handle the mental off-roading I've had to do.

That is why I am so desperate for the Lord's power in my life.  His power is made perfect in weakness.

What does that weakness mean?  Does it mean I can do fifteen things at once, by His power?  Sometimes I think I'm hypertasking out of lack of faith that doing just a few things well will be enough. I think one of the ways His power is perfected in my weakness is when, within the limits of my humanity, among the myriad options before me and investments I could spread myself thin, he targets me in one, maybe two, directions, and covers all the other bases for me, so the system doesn't overload.

Pumpkin spice

I am actually in the drive thru of Starbucks to pick up a treat. There is a nice fall chill in the air. I was so encouraged by this this morning that I decided to just repost it.

As we transition from Summer to Fall, it's good to take some time to reflect on the ever-changing seasons of our lives. Often, we settle into a routine or comfort zone that suits us just fine until something completely unexpected happens, jolting us into a new season of life. God's Word encourages us to be content in all things. Psalms 118 says, "This is the day that the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Each day, every day, it would do our souls well to rejoice in the knowledge of Christ and the blessings He has so graciously poured out on us. We all trudge through difficult times, but if we can learn to keep our eyes on Jesus, placing our hope and our future in His hands, we will see the tough times as merely temporary. In this context, it's much easier to find joy and peace in each season, each day, each moment.

A chip to build a dream on

Current Anglophilia symptom: obsession with BBC's Sherlock. Best show ever.

Current perplexity: finding a new place to live while raising two little ones.

Current coping mechanism: chocolate chips and down time.