It's not easy being Jeeves

Here is my prepared "English Breakfast" in front of the computer where I'm writing.

My overnight plan didn't go exactly as I'd expected; the bread machine was so loud at 3:30 this morning that it woke me up, so I moved it into the guest bathroom where the sound would be least bothersome to the family. Just to ease your mind, this is a bathroom where the toilet and bathtub are behind a separate door. The smell worked out exactly as I'd hoped, though I noticed there was no coffee smell. That is because I programmed my coffeemaker for PM instead of AM. Anyway,at 7:30, here's what I had.

My 1 1/2 lb. loaf of bread and my 4-cup pot of coffee (I was only making the coffee for me). Doesn't that hunk of bread look great? The kind of big bulk that makes you want to sing, "Let us break bread together on our knees." This is the kind of bread that in biblical times could be placed on a table and everyone just pull off a chunk to eat. In fact, I am told people still do this in the middle east. Well, like I said before, I was feeling British, so it needed to be sliced. You know what's the greatest thing since sliced bread? Me, either, but I can understand why that moment split culinary time. Slicing the bread is no easy chore now if you don't have the right knife. I have this small serrated knife that required two separate sawings per slice - one on each side. I wonder when sliced bread came out and when electric knives came out. I often wonder about pre-industrial, pre kitchen-full-of-time-saving-gadgets women and/or their help. Well, I sliced two thin slices for my kids, which turned out kind of uneven, and then sliced two big chunks, which I realized was a much better shape when you can do it. Here are the non-kid slices.

Here are the kids.

Sitting out were the butter, jelly, eggs, microwave steamer bowl, bread machine pain, coffee, and a can of peaches. By 9 A.M. I sat down with the above breakfast. Thinking of all of the conveniences I had, and how long it still took me, my hat is off to all of the house help at Pemberley and Longbourn (no E).